Zero Waste Alternatives for Toilet Paper

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Zero Waste Alternatives for Toilet Paper | Where did all of the toilet paper go? If you haven’t been living under a rock these last few weeks you’ve seen in the news and in our stores, first hand, that because of the Covid-19 Pandemic, we are in somewhat of a toilet paper shortage due to our strange nature of panicking and copying the behaviors of our neighbors. We, humans, are a strange species.

My social media feeds are littered with humorous toilet paper shortage memes and others getting pretty emotional about not being able to find any. Of course, I do have to say, I find it incredibly frustrating and bothersome knowing that many people like the elderly won’t have the luxury of hoarding a few packages like so many are doing. My concerns really go out to them.

You want to know the one thing that never even crossed my mind to stock up on during the increased need to socially distance and quarantine? Toilet paper. And that’s thanks to my years of zero waste living.

Since adopting ways to lessen my waste output, I’ve incorporated a few habitual changes around my bathroom routine. Changes that I doubt will ever change since they’ve made the experience much more hygienic on top of other things.

I recently polled my followers on what some of the most difficult items to find have been for them. Toilet paper was number one amongst other things like flour, disinfecting supplies, and wipes.

I’ll get this all covered for you in upcoming posts so that you never have to worry about running out again.

So what do you do when there’s no toilet paper?

Zero Waste Alternatives for Toilet Paper

Get a Bidet

Seriously. Life. Changing. I really don’t know why I was so weirded out by using one but I have to say. I will never, EVER go back. I use a bidet attachment which simply connects to the water line that goes to your toilet and rests under the seat. I’m not necessarily concerned about having warm water so the cold does me just fine.

Related: What are Bidets?

After doing the “ya know”, I wash rather than wipe which leaves me way cleaner than boring ole toilet paper. Seriously, who gets poo on themselves and doesn’t thoroughly wash? Anyway, probably TMI but you get the point.

Once clean, I pat myself dry with a designated towel. Just like if you’d just gotten out of the shower. Same concept.

You could even make your own bidet with an old squeeze bottle. Honestly, you don’t need to buy anything. Especially when times are like they are.

Use Cloth

Like a hankie for your bum. Probably not the best catchphrase but it does the job and when you are desperate for toilet paper, this is sure a lot better than the corn cobs people are joking about using right now.

Use an old towel or bed sheet, cut them up into smaller, butt-wipeable squares, and have them stashed at the ready next to the toilet.

Have a designated basket for clean pieces and a designated container for the used cloths with soap and water. At the end of the day, throw them into the wash.

Drip Dry

If you’re a country girl then you know what I’m talking about. It may cause you to remain on the toilet for a little extra time but who couldn’t use a good extended break from your kids now that you are all quarantined indoors? Yes, girl! Take some snacks in there, too. Who cares? Treat ya self!

Take a Shower After Your Poo

I’m talking you literally have 0 rolls of TP left. Take your shower after you do “the business”.

Whatever you do though, do NOT start flushing ANY toilet paper alternatives. That goes for paper towels, baby wipes, newspaper, restaurant napkins, cloth napkins, etc. Be smart. Anything other than TP can drastically cause sewage blockages which lead to expensive damages to our infrastructure and avoidable litter that could potentially end up in our rivers and ocean.

Also… Don’t start doing this. Don’t be that person. k, thanks!